


You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

by MiryelENG (Miryel)



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, College AU, Ironspider - Freeform, M/M, Marvel - Freeform, Starker, Stucky - Freeform, Young Starker, Young Tony Stark, ironman - Freeform, spiderman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miryel/pseuds/MiryelENG
Summary: In a life constantly searching for a void to fill, Peter Parker and Tony Stark find themselves, in a moment of their existence in which they feel divided in half, sharing parts of their soul and their mind, with the sole excuse of time spent as a justifying necessarily together. Their relationship grows, day by day, to unexpectedly create a bond and, inexorably, a break.A breakup that for Tony means putting aside pride to face it and for Peter swallowing bitter mouthfuls, trying not to choke with his own saliva.[Young! Tony x Peter - Angst / Introspective / Romantic - College! AU]
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Howard Stark & Maria Stark & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Kudos: 7





	1. Don't Let Me Down

[Young! Tony x Peter | Angst - Romantic | word count: 3588]

[ENGLISH ISN'T MY PRIMARY LANGUAGE, SO PLEASE SIGN ME MY MISTAKES SO I CAN IMPROVE MYSELF]

**WINNER OF THE ITALIAN WATTYS 2020 - FANFICTION**

**You Say Goodbye,**  
**I Say Hello**

**• • •**

"I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello" • • •

**Chapter I. Don't Let Me Down**

"Have you heard? Parker leaves."

How badly the words hurt. Especially when they had no intention of hurting; and he was almost unable - for the first time since he came into the world - to conceal his dismay. He would have liked to ask so many of those questions about it, and receive the answers he was looking for, only to not have to stoop to having to ask those questions to Peter. He would never have had the courage to show himself even the slightest touched by that news. Too much pride, stronger every minute. It was ruining life and character and existence. Yet he couldn't even try, to change. Not even for something that once - and perhaps still - had meant the world to him.

"Parker?" He snorted amused, "And where would he go? For what I care, then ... "

Steve shrugged. "What do you want me to know? Change schools, he said. He didn't come to class this morning. I think he delivered the clearance to the secretariat ." Of course he hadn't turned up for class! As if Tony hadn't noticed that he wasn't standing outside the front gate that morning. As if Tony didn't observe him enough every day, from afar, waiting for the right moment to approach him and apologize for what he was able to do. Knowing well then, that if Peter was changing schools, it was his fault too.

“So goodbye the Math Olympics. Without Parker they are lost at the start, ”he commented, and a veil of disappointment crept into Steve's eyes. Clear.

"Really? Is this all you have to say? Aren't you supposed to go to him and ask him why he made this decision so suddenly? " _Suddenly_? No, it didn't happen suddenly ...

Tony shrugged. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked away. He tried to avoid exposing himself again, turning his attention outside the window of the bus, which had now stopped at a traffic light. Steve's eyes continued judiciously to strike his soul and conscience. They hurt, and they were increasingly charged with accusations.

"You know. Peter and I haven't talked to each other anymore… in a century, like, ”he murmured, then sighed.

“Maybe it's the right time to start doing it again. Asking him why he decided out of the blue to change scenery. "

“Well, do you know what it is, Rogers? I don't care, ”Tony snapped back, and just kept looking out. Arm leaning against the window and hand supporting his chin, as if he didn't really care after all.

"Liar," Steve said harshly. And it was the same accusation that he inflicted on himself shortly after, when he opened the door of the house and was greeted by the silence of the usual solitude which he still could not get used to completely, because he had lost his parents, he had lost the desire to pretend that he everything was going well and he had lost Peter. He had managed to lose him, finally. He had not been able to hold him tight, despite the fact that the other had always given a sign that he did not want to leave ... and he had managed to give him a way to do it.

It had been nearly four months since the accident, and Tony spent most of his lonely days trying to mourn that loss, convinced that he hadn't even taken a step towards that goal. Loneliness had been a choice, but he knew he didn't need it constantly. He wanted to find the courage to fight that suffering, and every time he tried even to go out for a while, he ended up liquidating those few friends he had left and went home with the only desire to break everything. The truth was, he didn't feel understood. He did not feel understood because no one was able to do it. They tried, Steve most of all, but it wasn't the same. A pain of this kind, one had to know, in order to even try to be able to alleviate it in someone else;

_Peter Parker._

Peter was a fixed thought. A memory stuck between the most intertwined threads of his mind; set like a precious stone in the center of his forehead. A diadem that had melted to the flesh and which, even if it had wanted to tear it off, would have left a void too difficult to fill. Perhaps impossible to replace. He had spent that afternoon studying or, rather, trying to do so, while too vivid memories bathed his mind with melancholy, and soaked up to the most rotten and deepest point, his soul. He dropped the pen in the middle of the book, and closed it. There was no point in trying to make sense of all those words if he didn't even have the head to try. He ran a hand through his hair and retrieved his cell phone. That photo of his parents was a blow to the heart every time he saw it appear on the screensaver; still he wondered why he had put it on and still wondered why he couldn't find the strength to take it off. It seemed such a simple action, but in fact it was not at all, despite having always hidden it from everyone's eyes so as not to be weak.

He ran his fingers absently through the contacts, and literally, saved as special, was Peter's number, under Spider-Man's name. _I'll sign you with that name. No one will ever believe that you are the real one. With that face, Peter…,_ he had told him, laughing, as he saved him after he had asked him on an occasion he couldn't even remember what it was. _That's why my coverage is credible!_ , he replied, and smiled as always unaware of the pain it hurt his heart, every time he opened his lips and lit up the world. His heart ached even at that moment, while the umpteenth urge to call him was strong, but the cowardice was much more so.

He gritted his teeth. His jaw hurt. With a trembling thumb he blocked the phone again, placing it on the desk and sighing with annoying frustration.

 _Why are you leaving?_ , he wanted to tell him, if he ever answered that phone call he wasn't making. He wouldn't even say hello, he would get straight to the point, as always. As was the custom among them. _Why do you want to do this to me? Why do you want to leave permanently? Why don't you want to give me more time to find the courage to apologize?_

"Because you're a coward and you'll never find that fucking courage," he told himself in a low voice as he folded his arms over the physics tome and stuck his head in it, to hide even from himself. He hated himself. He hated himself because he could have just put his pride aside, that time long ago, and he would have avoided losing the one person he felt so strong about, he couldn't even describe it.

"You deserve it. You deserve this. It's karma, Tony… ”he punished himself, again and again, then stood up. He began to wander around the room like a pained soul, searching only for a distraction that could take that one fixed thought out of his head. Peter, Peter, and again Peter. He was always there, standing still in the midst of his feelings of guilt, looking at him with contempt and anger; that he turned his brown eyes to him, devoid of the usual bright and bright light, only because he had been able to extrapolate it away with just that sentence he had addressed to him. The words hurt, his did it continuously and he was almost proud that with Peter it had never happened yet, until that day. That day when he was able, without any difficulty, to bring out his inner monster, He hated himself and he hated his demons. He hated his shitty character, his arrogance, his pride and his fear of failure, which was useless, because he was so much a failure. But above all he hated his cowardice, and then he hated Peter. For having charmed him without doing who knows what to succeed, perhaps he had also been unaware of it. He hated him for his infinite sweetness, for his shyness, for his ability to see good in anything.

Even in him. What a mistake ...

...  


The next morning was just the umpteenth search for the other's gaze and when he saw him smile shyly and with a veil of sadness towards his friend Ned, he could not help but observe him and that's it. From afar, hundreds of students from behind unaware of the evil and anger that flowed between him and Peter in the middle of that hall. It cut the air in two, and flooded them, and they never met. Or at least Peter was constantly trying not to find him in the crowd, which Tony did without even realizing it. He raised his neck to watch him enter the building; the girl with the curly hair, MJ, seemed angry with him. Perhaps for the fact that he was leaving like this, out of the blue, without saying anything to anyone. So Steve had told him: Peter had made that decision in silence, to himself, without even involving the professors, who had taken it with a melodramatic amazement. He had asked to be allowed to speak to the class, and he had only claimed that he had made the decision to change schools, and why was a huge and stupid excuse. The distance from home, the economic problems, the difficulty of integrating. All bullshit. All lies. Tony knew it. It made him angry that he needed to lie so as not to have to say what the real reason was. All bullshit. All lies. Tony knew it. It made him angry that he needed to lie so as not to have to say what the real reason was. All bullshit. All lies. Tony knew it. It made him angry that he needed to lie so as not to have to say what the real reason was. And it was him. He was the problem, of course, and the fact that he had kept that truth to himself made him even more angry.

_Get angry and admit it! For a fucking time, don't justify me and tell the world the truth. I ruined your life and I'm continuing to ruin it._

"Tony?"

He turned in exasperation to Bruce, who had just called him from behind, at the least opportune moment. The obvious intolerance of a restless face due to the sleepless nights that he was condemned to live for four months, too visible. Nobody had to know. Nobody was to know that Tony Stark was weak and didn't sleep because he missed his mother. And dad. And Peter.

"What is it?" He asked brusquely, as Banner walked beside him, shrugging and raising his eyebrows, skeptical.

"Good morning to you. Are you OK?"

"Not really," Tony admitted and then sighed as he walked through the school door and the bell began to ring, leaving him stunned for a few seconds. He cursed his own impatience about everything; to each sound that exceeded its threshold of tolerance

“Steve told you about Parker, didn't he?” Banner observed, and it was just another shot to the heart.

“Of course he told me about Parker… and anyway, if you want to know the truth, I don't really care. Go away, ”he lied, and turned the corner.

"No?" Bruce asked rhetorically. "Since when do you call him by surname, then?" He snorted, amused by that apparently absurd situation.

“Since we broke up. It bothers me just to mention it, imagine. "

"That's because you feel guilty."

It was true. Damn true, and the only person he couldn't deny that truth was just himself. And it was difficult even then. It was angry to learn that he no longer had time to act, knowing full well that if Peter had stayed, he would probably never have come to him to talk and clarify, although he would have liked to do so.

He could have seriously considered that possibility. He could have spoken to us seriously and, even if it were the last time, he could have tried to apologize to him. _He could have_ , if only the fear of being rejected hadn't been so strong. No, he couldn't. What if he forgave him too? It was done now. He knew he should have taken that step a long time ago. He knew it was late now, as always.  
  
A life of regret, that's what he was living. A life made only of stupid lost opportunities.

...

Leaving school was yet another missed opportunity. Peter stood there, between his two friends, Ned and MJ. Or, as Tony always called them: his bodyguards. Unapproachable even by others, enclosed in a bubble of too strong cares of which Tony had always been strongly jealous. He hated them, those two. He hated them like never before, but he was extremely aware that they hadn't done anything wrong. They had only and always protected him, because after all, when you knew him well, you began to feel that suffocating need to protect him. _Who knows what, then_ ...

He saw him greet them and get on the bus that would take him home and, cursing himself for the sudden decision, he ran to the stop and got on too. The vehicle left and there were so many people that he hoped it could blend in with the commuters. Peter was standing there, silent and absorbed. A hand clenched to the support pole, busy passing the time by checking the cell phone. The eyelashes lowered to address that sadness that veiled him and that he tried to dampen by listening to the music at full volume with headphones. So from Peter, that fact… Music had always been a present element, and for the time they had been together, it had been a pleasant companion. Absurd as now, both of them used that art to forget each other.

A few stops later Peter got out. They had arrived in his neighborhood, a few miles from his home. He always got off a few stops early to take a walk. Tony slipped through the crowd so he could get out and follow him. It was a miracle to be able to do it without being crushed by the doors. Peter was already a few meters away, and when he stopped at a red light for pedestrians, Tony swallowed a rump and took courage.

"Peter?" He called and he didn't hear it, because of the loud music.

He hesitated a few seconds before placing a hand on his shoulder and he jumped. When he turned to look at him, her face hardened and Tony felt a stab in his heart; a pain in the soul so great that it cannot bear it. Peter pulled off his headphones with a sharp gesture, unprepared for that meeting.

"Tony? What… what are you doing here? ”He stammered.

“I've come to know things… about you. As you can imagine, I'd like some explanations from you,” Tony summed up, still holding his hand firmly on his shoulder, which Peter looked at with the hope in his eyes that he would disappear, before giving him a sidelong glance.

"From me? No, I don't think I have to give you any explanation; of any kind, ”he replied, raising an eyebrow uncertainly. The lie of a nonchalance he was not even able to pretend. Already ready to wriggle out and run away.

"Oh, no? Not even about your crazy decisions made like that, without thinking?" He asked, rhetorically, and Peter rolled his eyes, snorting. Already fed up with his intolerant irony, pungent and annoying, of which Tony was immensely aware. He walked towards the opposite side of the road, as the green light had sprung, to disappear. Tony ran after him and stopped him as they reached the other sidewalk, grabbing him by the backpack and nearly dropping him.

"Hey, wait! Wait a moment! Just give me ... a moment. " 

Peter stopped and, after an interminable minute of silence, sighed, turning to look at him. “I guess you heard that I'm leaving. Are you here for this?" He asked, and Tony nodded after a moment's hesitation. Admitting that fact was as difficult as it would be to accept death, yet he suddenly felt weightless, despite everything. “It's done now. Whatever you want to tell me, it doesn't matter anymore. When the week is over, I'll move in, ”he explained. Sorry? Angry? Resigned? There were too many feelings in those lowered and sad eyes, turned too often to the asphalt and not his.

"What the hell is it in your head to do?" Snapped Tony, then grunted and clapped his thigh impatiently. "Look, running away from problems is not the solution."

"Oh, sure!" Peter began, "You tell me about running _away from problems,_ " he pointed out, making quotes with his fingers to emphasize that accusation. A tremble in the voice, for the non-existent habit of using those hostile tones. Something that Tony would have found adorable, in another context. He felt infinitely sad, and fell silent when Peter looked away, clearly eager to leave, only not to suffer more; yet it was still there. Because he, unlike him, never ran away. For that he returned to being, succinct, the usual Peter. The one unable to cruelly throw a cutting irony at him. What, in spite of everything, dialogue did not deny anyone. Even him.

“Look, I… I tried to give you a chance. I tried to wait long enough for you to put aside pride and come and talk to me. Tony, it's been four months. What would you ever want to tell me after all this time? I no longer have the strength to wait for you, and you ..." he stopped. He took a deep breath, and lowered his head again, distraught. Broken. Split. Tony saw the enamored light in his eyes - the one that still betrayed the harshness of his every word, trying to turn off in vain, reserving his gaze for something inanimate, that didn't give off the same feeling as Tony's eyes did.

Here, this hurt. An evil dog. Had he been certain that Peter no longer loved him, he could have come to terms with it, but so ... so it was worse than tearing his heart out with his fingers and throwing it away.

"And I'm an asshole," he finished for him, sighing. A thin dark note in the voice, "and if you leave, what do you solve?"

Peter shook his head. “You're not the only reason I'm leaving, Tony. But ... I admit you were the trigger. I will not solve anything, of course, but at least I will not have to live with problems that I can neither face nor solve. And our problem ... "

"Peter ..."

"In fact, our problems… I don't… I can't take it anymore. And neither do you, I know ... "

"Peter."

"So even if you really have something to say ... and find the courage to do it ... and I highly doubt it will happen ... do you really think it can change things?" 

"Peter!"

"...it's late. Too late, Tony… ", he concluded, purposely ignoring his having yelled his name in the one and only attempt to stop him. In the hope that he could shut up, shut the damn up and stop telling the truth without any regard. Pure and pure as an angel, he said certain things with a calm that was sharper than a razor. More corrosive than an acid. More fatal than a poison with a sweet almond flavor. Peter pursed his lips. Tony knew that this was just an attempt to withhold so many of those things - those accusations he wanted to make. He continued to be kind, in spite of everything, and that was what made things even more sad and broken. He watched him adjust the shoulder strap of the backpack better on his shoulder, then came that tired sigh that canceled everything, like a light switch that is turned off and cannot be turned on again. Not anymore.

"Say something ... please."

_I don't want you to go away._

He would have liked so much to have the courage to tell him… he would have liked so much to open that mouth without a shred of fear and pride; curb that truth. Even just once. Only one. He asked for nothing more. It was giving him a chance to remedy that mistake; it was giving him the opportunity to redeem himself, to redeem himself, to put aside what had happened and try, perhaps, to start over. Tony only managed to frown. Lips glued together, unable to open.

"Anything, Tony ..." Peter pleaded, and whispered it to him. The voice broken with despair, but veiled with a little hope. Because he always had it in him and Tony had never done anything to deserve it. Rather.

_You're dividing us and I don't want to. Stay. By God, stay! Why are you doing this to me?_

He clenched his fists in his pockets; he managed to open his mouth, and only gasped for air. Nothing more than that. Peter's eyes lit up for a second, suddenly filled with too many expectations in the face of that disjointed babble that Tony slammed in front of him, then fell silent again and looked away. It was his last chance, and nothing came of it. Fuck nothing.

"I thought so," Peter murmured again, "Good life, Tony," he wished and turned, then walked away, shrugging his shoulders and head in disappointment. More disappointment, more resentment, more anger. That chat had only made things worse, and had served no purpose other than to wear down and die their souls again. Tony watched him go, until he became a distant dot hidden in the crowd, with an empty heart and a full head. The wrists bound by the chains of a prison made of memories and kisses stolen without warning. An obsession, unable to leave his mind on any occasion.

He would just have to turn around and go home; try in every way to forget him and to forget what they had been. He could not make it. He stood still, with the drumming sound of a traffic light warning filling his head with sharp thorns. He felt helpless, defeated. Lost.

Damn alone.   
  
Good life? _Which life?_  


**End Chapter I**


	2. Chapter II

**Chapter II. We Can Work It Out**  
  
  


Tony Stark wasn't the kind of person who tolerated delays, but he was definitely not someone who arrived on time when he should do it. The reason? It wasn't clear to him either, but he was adamant that, by making himself desired, he would get more support than anyone else. This is why his father always got mad when he saw him cross the threshold of the S.H.I.E.L.D. meeting room, when _things_ were done. Tony always replied that either, after all, whether or not to attend those antics made no difference to him. Imagine for them...

His father, as always, replied that it made a difference, but he never explained why. Not that he cared, anyway.

That day was a lot hot, for mid-April and, among other misfortunes, he was forced to take part in one of the many, boring meetings that saw the Avengers gathered in a room to decide _things_ for the fate of the world. Tony was not an Avenger, but he was still an important part of society. All because he was a genius, and certainly could not be denied. He was seventeen and was already able to build and design anything the Avengers and SHIELD asked him for: weapons, suits, armor, devices of any kind. And he was delighted ... oh, he was delighted, when they gave him so many compliments that he was almost knocked out.

He climbed the stairs that would lead him to the glass door that housed the entrance to the headquarters. He had taken a nap on the bus, missing a couple of stops, so his was an _obscene_ delay , using one of his father's most frequent expressions. He must have looked awful, but he didn't care much. He would give his useless vote to whatever it took, and then he would go home. As always.

He let out a long, annoyed yawn before the front door swung open and a tornado in a green jacket and brown hair literally swept him over. As he clung to the door handle so as not to fall, he saw that figure fly away and began to descend the steps two by two, and then disappear behind the entrance gate, running. A sense of familiarity enveloped him, only to realize that he was really too late to dwell on that detail and, finally, he entered.

The large hall, far too rundown for his liking, was freezing cold. The temperature in that place was always shocking, to be honest. Both in summer and in winter. He would never get used to it. He dragged listlessly to the meeting room door and before he could open it a hand landed on her shoulder. He risked myocardial infarction for the second time.

"As usual, you are on time for closing meetings, Tony," a familiar voice scolded him, and he was glad it wasn't his father's.

He snorted. "I missed the bus."

Nick Fury smiled at him, too aware. The man sighed and put his hands behind his back. “Just like last week. Your father is furious, you know? He tried to call you I don't know how many times. You have a personal driver, why didn't you come with him? "

Tony ignored that consideration of the foot driver. “Unfortunately my phone is dead. And in any case, if the meeting is over, I take it there was no need for my presence this time either, "he replied, with a disinterested tone that expressed too much indifference towards those obligations.

“Not today, but you have to be there tomorrow. Howard recommended telling you. They don't care how, but you'll have to attend. It's important."

“Hell, what did I miss that was so striking? From the way you speak it seems that you have won the lottery! », He exclaimed ironically, as he got rid of his backpack, placing it on the ground to stretch his back.

Fury smiled slyly. “You didn't get that far. We have a candidate new member of the Avengers. One… cool, to use one of your most passionate youthful expressions. "

Tony raised his eyebrows. It did not take him long to reconnect the near accident he had with that character who had overwhelmed him shortly before and that encounter passed before his eyes like the film of a movie. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

"Are you talking about that guy who came out a little while ago and nearly kills me?"

"Yup. I guess it's him. "

Tony couldn't hold back a wary grimace. "That? He looks more like a loser! "

Fury gave him a sidelong glance from his good eye, then sighed resignedly. "As usual, you judge before you even know people, Tony." 

“Oh, sometimes the first impression can reveal a lot more than you might think. Anyway, is he a megalomaniac I know? Have you already seen around? "

Fury sighed again. He blatantly ignored his first comment on first impressions and, almost certainly, also the adjective _megalomaniac,_ which Tony abused whenever a new executioner in mask came out. He loved to apostrophize them in the most disparate ways. That word then, lately, he liked a lot.

" _Spider-Man_ , does that mean anything to you?"

'The clown of Queens! Sure why not!"

«The clown, as you call him, has all the credentials to join the team. The latest central bank bailout earned him several points. It was difficult for us to remain indifferent. But, tell me: does it burn you, Tony? »Laughed Fury, trying to ruffle his hair and he dodged badly. The man laughed louder at that hostility towards an affectionate gesture.

"What exactly should burn me?" He asked dryly. Arms crossed across the chest.

"The fact that he lost the title of the youngest SHIELD member!" The man teased him, a smirk that Tony would have gladly wiped off his face with a loud punch, if only there was still a minimum of education.

"As far as I'm concerned ... as if I'm proud to leave, then," he said, all too aware that he'd just told a lie. He knew it and Fury knew it too, yet Tony had it, that habit of always pretending that annoying detachment from everything.

“Take this coetaneity as a positive factor. You could make friends, plus he goes to the same school as you, maybe you've already seen him around the corridors », the man answered and involuntarily gave him the answer to the question he had asked himself a little earlier; that's where the hell he saw him! At school! He didn't remember where and when, but it was a familiar face, seen several times. Too bad it was his prerogative to forget information and faces that had no value in his life ...

"Oh yes, and what's his name?" 

Fury smiled, and Tony knew he had spread too much of his curiosity about it. He didn't like showing it, he didn't even like trying it.

«Parker. Peter Parker. » 

...

Tony could swear on his grandfather's grave that he had never heard that name from half a person who was one or, better said, the names he didn't care about never stuck to him. Yet, after that meeting in passing at the Avengers headquarters - where, moreover, he had not even exchanged a glance, not a word, with that guy - the name of Peter Parker began to whisk in his head worse than an obsession.

It was Spider-Man, then. They went to the same school, therefore. So, even if they didn't want to, they would have to meet by force. And it was just the next afternoon, where the second break from class brought him as a habit to Steve's class, to see him. He had been there for most of his intervals throughout the school year, yet Tony had never noticed that Parker. Never.

Steve greeted him by raising a hand and he returned with the same gesture, while the eye went without too much discretion to observe that boy, sitting at a desk near the window, intent on a heated chat with a couple of companions. He smiled. With an infinite shyness but he did it. Spontaneous and sweet. Extremely hateful.

"Is that Parker?" He asked Steve, who immediately turned his gaze to his classmate.

“Yes, that's Parker. Because?"

Tony shrugged. He put his hands in his pockets, feigning nonchalance; he was there for Steve, but maybe not anymore. He was there for his unwitting rival, the one who wanted to steal the show from him among the Avengers. With a genuine smile printed on that little face that he would have gladly slapped. With that secret hidden behind an innocence that, necessarily, had to be a hype. Behind the Spider-Man mask there couldn't be _that_ face there, let's go!

"So."

"Like this?" Steve repeated, then laughed showing off his perfect white teeth. Tony would have gladly punched that too. “You don't care about three-quarters of the world's population, Tony. You lead here and ask me if that's Parker! _What's underneath_? "

How he hated him… Steve was a simpleton, sometimes. He didn't understand things if he didn't make drawings for him, yet when he didn't have to, he ended up understanding things he shouldn't have. He, then, who had entered debuting with that _Is_ that _Parker?_ , as if it were normal administration to take an interest in other human beings, especially for someone like him ...

"He was at headquarters yesterday," he explained, simply, and rested his buttock on the counter, continuing to glance from Steve to Parker, too intrigued that this guy was Spider-Man. _Ridiculous._ «For an application, like. I don't know what… maybe an internal project, ”he lied on purpose. He had no right to reveal the secret identities of the members of the Avengers. And, while preserving them was none of his business, it was still one of the very few mature acts Tony allowed himself.

“Oh, cool. After all, he's a good guy at school. He won the Mathematical Olympics, you know? "

“I don't know why, but the face of the lifeless _nerd_ , devoted to studying, has it. One who doesn't know what real life is. "

“Don't act like you usually try to recognize people by just a glance. He has never bothered anyone, moreover. And I know he had a troubled childhood, ”Steve countered, tapping his fingers nervously on the counter and Tony knew exactly what was going on. He knew this because he knew his best friend enough to be able to understand, from body language alone, that he was not liking the turn that speech had taken. Obviously no, Tony didn't even like him and as much as he wanted to stop that flow of bad words addressed to a person he didn't even know, he decided to end with a flourish with a catchphrase.

"Who hasn't had it ...?"

Steve pursed his lips, and turned to the classmate they were talking about and, shrugging with annoying authority, opened his mouth to call him. Tony gasped, trying to stop him, moving his hands theatrically.

"Parker?" The kid from Queens looked up. His stupid smile faded and then returned to reveal itself with that annoying circumstance that Tony so hated; much more than the lies he was forced to hear and tell every day.

"Yes?" He asked, apologizing to his companions when he was invited to come near them.

“This is my friend Tony Stark,” Steve began, and Parker showed the hand that Tony shook with some unwillingness, “he says he saw you yesterday at the Avengers base of operations. You know, he's Howard Stark's son, you've heard of him. What's boiling in the pot? "

Peter Parker shivered for an imperceptible second. His stupid smile faded in a downward line, and for a moment it was true. The real keeper of a secret that he now apparently feared he could no longer keep.

“Yeah, Parker! What's cooking? », Tony instigated him, with some satisfaction in the tone of his voice and the other boy stammered a few disjointed words, before returning to shine as radiant as a sunflower.

“I… tried to make an application. Maybe they catch me, ”he lied, and Tony felt deeply disappointed that his version and Parker's matched so well. He seriously wanted to see him extricate himself from that lie, only to take away the satisfaction of having beaten him. Because yes, Tony in the darkest and most hidden corner of his soul, he wanted to be able to see him disappear from his life before even letting him in. He had held that distinction of being SHIELD's youngest person for too long. Pampered and requested by all. It was his only delight in a life of proof, on proof, which his father did nothing but put before him to prove to the world that he was worthy to bear his surname.

"Will you go there again today?" He asked, interrupting Parker and Steve who had started talking to each other. Parker turned to look at him. Her cheeks turned red and, casting him one uncertain glance, he turned her eyes away as he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

_He knows. He knows I know._

“Y-yes, I have a meeting with some people. A sort of second interview. From here they will see if I have what it takes to… be part of the team. The… application team, ”he stammered.

"What would you do?" Steve asked, and Parker shot a fearful look at Tony. A too blatant request for help, which he would never receive. Not from him.

_Show me what you can do, Spider-Man._ he thought, suppressing a lopsided grin.

«Research laboratory… studies of… _things._ You know, like ... blueprints for new futuristic technologies. Boring things. "

“Boring things you can't understand, Rogers. You're too dumb just to try, ”Tony confirmed, and while Steve had given him a murderous look for the sharp joke, Parker had reserved one of pure gratitude, which he ignored on purpose.

Parker gave them one last, worried smile as Steve began threatening Tony to kill him, before pointing his thumb behind him at his desk.

“Well, I'm going back to my seat. See you over there, then. "

Tony looked at him, looking him up and down, then raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, see you there, Parker."

...

The sound of the bell that marked the end of classes was always a relief, but that day had an even more angelic touch in Tony's ears. He couldn't wait to leave school and, his stomach contracted by who knows what thought, was one of the main reasons why he wanted to reach his home sooner. He was nervous. The idea of losing his lead as a promising youngster was wearing him down and, as ridiculous as he found that jealousy of Spider-Man, he just couldn't get over it. A damned obsession, stuck in the middle of his forehead, which was ruining a day that had actually gone quite well. He got top marks in Algebra, not to mention the Economics question: a real success! Yet even those results had failed to distract him from that injustice. Yes, because that was what Tony thought of that fact. Years and years of trying to at least get into the graces of the SHIELD - since getting into those of his father was practically impossible - only to find himself having to share that record with the first masked fool who passed.

He passed the throng of people gathered at the exit, trying to avoid Banner and Steve, who as always waited for him to catch the bus together. He didn't want to see them, let alone talk to them. He knew that Rogers would keep asking him questions and that Bruce would then, consequently, want to know what the hell they were talking about.

No, the Peter Parker topic was closed. _Closed!_

He didn't want to hear it mentioned, much less see it or hear its shrill voice with a strong Queens accent, annoying to say the least.

"Strong?"

Tony rolled his eyes. _Speak of the devil ..._

He pretended not to have heard and continued his walk towards the bus stop, where a fair number of people were already occupying the shelter. He would never be able to take it right away, he would have to wait for the next one and it was for that reason that, at the second call, he finally turned around. He couldn't have done otherwise.

«Ah, is it you… Park… our? Park ... _thing_ ¹ _? "_

"Parker!" Spider-Man exclaimed, nodding and smiling soon after, "Peter, if you like."

Nah, he didn't like it. It was already a long time since he had stopped and had given him his _precious_ time, let alone start calling him by name, as if there was some confidence; one of those that Tony just didn't want to even contemplate in the remote abyss of his mind.

"Did you want something?" He asked him disinterestedly. A foot ready to run away. Parker nodded again. He shrugged and clenched a hand around the shoulder of his backpack, uncertain. He pursed her lips and then moved closer.

"Yes, I ... I wanted to talk to you ... about the application."

Tony frowned, then snorted in amusement and looked away. "The application? Come on, Parker, we both know there is no application. '

“No, in fact, and that's why I would like to ask you to keep the utmost confidentiality regarding that _thing_ you surely know. I ... I saw you yesterday, when I left the building - and indeed, sorry if I practically hit you like that, but I was afraid of missing the bus, as it was late and ... yes, I mean, I didn't say it in front of Rogers because I was afraid of complicating things, but ... "

Tony felt his breath catch in front of the avalanche of words with which he just drowned, and he drew back. "But?"

Parker looked torn. He moved closer, crossing what Tony thought was the line between confidence and mere knowledge. It gave him an immeasurable annoyance to perceive so close the stranger with whom he had never spoken before that moment. He wished he could take a step back, and was amazed that he hadn't done so in an unconditional reflex.

“Fury told me about you. I know… I know what you do there, and it's cool, and I respect you so much! But ... I need the same thing and I must ask you for ... maximum confidentiality. "

Tony understood that fear perfectly, but he still could not hold back an irritated frustrated sound that revealed by clicking his tongue. He moved nervously in place, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Was he really giving him that kind of lecture? Did that kid really think he was so low and bad as to go that far? Tony lived there, among people who divided their lives in two, hoping to be able to keep their secret forever.

The lives of their loved ones were at stake, and Tony never played on this.

He felt offended. He looked at him skeptically.

“Really, Parker? Do you think I can't keep your secret? Who the hell did you take me for? "

"I did not say this! Damn, no! "Spider-Man replied, terse, waving his hands to stop what could surely become an argument in the bud," Just ... it's the first time anyone else knows who I am and I'm afraid. Fear for… for people close to me. I made enemies, and if they knew who is behind the costume ... _you know, right? "_

He knew it all right. And as much as he didn't like that Parker so much, he had to agree with him. Perhaps he too, in a specular situation, would certainly have asked the other to preserve that secret without telling the four winds. Of course, he certainly would have done it with less kindness, but he would have.

“Okay… okay, listen, alright. I'll keep my mouth shut. But that doesn't mean you'll have to stick to my ass like an octopus now, Parker. I keep it safe, your _spider_ , but stay away from me, okay? "

Peter Parker seemed bewildered by that answer. He remained silent as he nervously tugged at the hem of his green jacket. Tony saw in that silence a desire to tell him many of those things, but that invitation to go away had cut short in the bud. He was obviously upset.

Tony thought that wasn't his problem.

“Y-yes, sure. I just wanted to highlight this thing about identities, I wasn't going to, I mean ... I absolutely don't pretend that you and me ... come on, why should we make friends, or something? Sharing this secret doesn't mean either- "

Tony rolled his eyes and Peter fell silent, immediately. His helpless puppy brown eyes filled with sadness, making his mild and submissive temper even more hateful.

Logorrhoeic. _What a terrible hatred of people like that!_

“Look, I have to go. See you around, okay? "

"See you ... see you later," muttered the other, nodding uncertainly and Tony turned away, while the most visceral panic flooded his black soul. Swallowed air; Peter Parker's gaze that crept into his back, sharp.

_See you later,_ he said. Yep, he had completely removed the fact that they would meet again for the reunion that afternoon and that, this time, he too would be part of it to determine whether or not Spider-Man was worthy to join the crew.

_Afterward, it_ seemed like a certainty that for Parker meant a new opportunity. For Tony, it was just a mere threat.

  
_**To Be Continued...** _   
  



	3. Chapter III - Nowhere Man

**Chapter III. Nowhere Man**  


"Well, what else to say? Welcome to the Team, _Spider-Man_! "

Nick Fury seemed to have said it with almost too obvious a hint of enthusiasm, that it seemed to Tony more like a stab at him than anything else. He was confirmed when the man glanced at him, raising his eyebrows, with a satisfied smile, because what Tony had feared had finally happened against his will. Peter Parker had become part of the team and he had had no say in that decision. They hadn't even let him speak. They hadn't even given him a chance to have his say and he was certain that Parker - yes, he and that hateful, awkward smile of his had pierced and won the hearts of those soft, sentimental adults. As if it really needed another member of the Avengers, then.

Everyone present and his father stood up to congratulate and shake Parker's hand, who obviously returned with a smile of almost exaggeratedly charged enthusiasm, on his little face that deserved only slaps and blows. Tony didn't get up. He just tapped a pen against the glass table, waiting for that fucking curtain to close and that, finally, he could get his butt up to go to his house and lock himself in his room so as not to go out until dinner time. He hoped there wasn't even a ceremony or a buffet planned, because in that case the matter would take on pathetic and ridiculous tones and, staying a minute longer in that room, could seriously undermine his self-control.

"Tony, aren't you coming to congratulate our Peter?" his father asked him, giving him a sinister look that the man had tried to hide behind a paternal smile. A hand resting on Spider-Man's shoulder, trembling with emotion.

Tony smiled falsely for an imperceptible second. "Well done, Parker," he said simply, and when Peter looked at him, veiled with disappointment, Tony lowered his to some papers, which he had scribbled during the meeting, not knowing if they were important or not. They probably were.

His father sighed imperceptibly, then walked over to him and clapped his hands to get everyone's attention.

“I declare the meeting closed. You will receive registration details these days, Parker. In the meantime, I wish you good work. I wish it to you all, ”he said, and the hint was clear. Everyone left the room, and when it was silent again, Howard Stark leaned against the table with his arms crossed and looked at him with his lips reduced to a very fine line of disappointment.

"What happens?" he asked and Tony snorted, immediately. He didn't even let him finish the question. He already knew where he was headed.

"Are you going to recover because I didn't get up to congratulate your new purchase?"

“No, I'm trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you. You didn't interact in a single speech. You sat here, on the sidelines, pretending to listen, glaring, snorting whenever you had the chance. Tony, this hostile attitude is just getting tired, ”his father told him, and when Tony looked up to look at him, he saw him take the bridge of his nose between two fingers, wearily.

“Then don't invite me to your stupid meetings anymore. Anyway, as far as my opinion counts, it's the same whether I take part in it, or not! »He replied.

“Your opinion is as good as anyone else's, if only you didn't always express yourself as if you didn't give a damn. You are almost eighteen years old, and even if you should, you are not yet showing me a shred of maturity! " way just couldn't stand it. What was the point of showing him that he was an adult? He would never get his approval even by becoming the best son on earth. “Look, I like that Parker. Everybody likes it. He has incredible power in his hand, as well as boundless potential. You can't deny it, but if you have something to say against the decision, do it now. I listen to you."

"Now?" Tony asked, frowning. He burst out laughing without any enthusiasm; he looked away, hurt. “What's the point of doing it now? Do you ask me when the decision is made? "

“I didn't say that I won't consider your reasons, but I want you to present them to me now, away from ears that can misrepresent them. I know you enough to be able to read between the lines, the others don't. "

Tony was silent. He knew he was unpleasant, indeed ... he knew he was unpleasant, just because that was what he wanted to prove. They all loved him very much, that was true, but there were times when - even in that place he had always called _home_ \- he felt marginalized and sidelined, because of things said in a certain way, but who had quite different intentions. He knew he was smart and did nothing to hide it, but maybe it was that arrogance's fault that people often didn't even take him seriously. It was surprisingly misunderstood, and he hated feeling that way.

Sigh. “I have nothing to say. I don't like Parker, period. Do you want an argument? Well: I think he's not ready to be part of the Avengers. I don't see him able to handle dangerous situations like the ones we are used to fighting, on certain occasions. Plus it's against drastic violence, he said; we are too, but for the most ruthless enemies it is necessary to stop them using any means. Even kill them if necessary. He wouldn't be able to and this is a big, gigantic risk. In my opinion, he should limit himself to defending his neighborhood. From what I know, he gets along very well in that. "

“He's proven time and again that he knows exactly what he's doing. Moreover, he passed all the tests with full marks, even the psychological ones. "

Tony laughed again, tilting his head back. Then he became serious and snorted, dead tired. He wanted to end that discussion there, because he already knew that it would always be a big hole in the water, which would not lead to any conclusion.

He tilted his head to the side, skeptical. “As if passing the tests with full marks makes him a good match. Look, there's no point in discussing it. You made your decision, and so did the others. Keep your _beloved_ Spider-Man. I'm in the minority, I'll make up my mind. "

“Tony, if you had given me valid reasons, I would certainly have considered them. Your verdict is given by something that burns you inside. Something personal, which has nothing to do with Parker and his carrying out the tasks he will have to perform. Solve your problems with yourself and we'll talk about it again. Meanwhile, Spider-Man remains one of us. Like it or not, ”his father said, and Tony knew the discussion was over there. They should never have even started it, _damn it_. He knew that talking about it would only further fuel his annoyance, because now he had the truth clear: he was the problem, and certainly not Parker, but that news continued to burn and annoy him indecently.

He stood up, his jaw clenched. Not at all intending to say anything. I retrieved the backpack from under the coffee table and started to leave the meeting room. His father had followed him with his eyes, clearly waiting to hear him say something. His eyes on him were always a great annoyance.

"Tony, I expect your best cooperation."

"See you at home," he ignored him, dull and, without turning, left the room and slipped away.

...

Tony would have done anything to live that situation with a certain tranquility, but the stomach ache and the intercostal pains could not hide his real state of mind. He was annoyed, he was angry, he was _jealous._ Yes, he was, and as much as he couldn't accept it, because he realized for himself that he shouldn't have any reason, he knew it was.

" _You have to calm down,_ " Banner had told him, when he was once again hostile towards him, only because he was unnerved by the situation and not because his poor friend had really done something to him.

Then his father, who had told him that thing about the _maximum cooperation_ he expected from him, had not at all shaken his curiosity, although he soon got an answer, sending him a message - since he had practically ignored his phone calls for everything. the afternoon. Partly because he had to study, partly because talking to his old man meant losing his guts, most of the time. The messages, however, could not possibly escape. He opened it with a sigh, as he closed the tome of macro technology, now convinced that he had lost concentration.

"Are you going to ignore my calls for much longer?"

Tony snorted and started typing, pressing his thumbs quickly on the keyboard. "I'm studying. What do you want?"

"Talk to you about something."

Enigmatic. As always. There had been a fucking time he'd said something to him right away, without making it so operatic. He snorted again and pressed the handset next to the number to call him. He got an answer after a couple of rings.

“Tony, you have to stop ignoring me. You know that if I look for you there is always a more than valid reason », he scolded him immediately, without even saying goodbye.

“If you have to lecture me, we can close it here already. You said you have to ask me something, right? I listen to you, ”he replied sharply. He put the cell phone on his shoulder and tilted his head to keep it hands free, so he could cross his arms over his chest and sit comfortably in the chair.

He heard his father sigh wearily, then the man spoke. "Can you make it here in a couple of hours?" We have to plan something, and we would need a hand. "

"You are too vague."

“This is a decent paid job, if that's what interests you. Anyway, why don't you just come here, so you can talk about it face to face, without you playing melodramatic? "

"Because I'm sure you're putting me in the middle of something I don't want to do, and if I come there I'll just have to accept because you force me to do it!" I croak hard, again proving his non-existent collaboration. The speech he had with his father, immediately after the meeting, had highlighted too many things including the fact that he was dead wrong with regard to someone who everyone liked and, he was sure, in that project that awaited him he was involved as well. Spider-Man. He was so sure of that fact, because he knew his father too well. 

“Tony, we need you because you're the only one who can do it. Put aside your pride and intolerance, for just one damn time, and give me a hand! No one else can do that but you, ”his father finally admitted, after spending too many seconds in silence and Tony knew exactly what they were for. He was not good at externalizing his feelings, let alone admitting that his son was the only one capable of accomplishing something which, it seemed, was vital. They were the same in that respect, but to Tony it was slightly different. When his father showed signs of feeling even a hint of pride, and expressed it sincerely, he was unable to deny him his help. He was going through his life, constantly seeking his approval, and although he knew he would never get it totally, certain things displaced him. He was less determined than he thought.

"I'm coming," he cut him short and closed the call, without even saying hello. As always. A bad habit that only emphasized the horribly unbalanced relationship they had. And Tony felt trapped in an endless loop of unhappiness when his father was in the middle.

With that state of mind he reached the scientific laboratory of the SHIELD; a backpack on his shoulder and wearing the Back to the Future III¹ t-shirt by now a few years old, but from which he could not separate himself. The sliding door opened immediately and, although he wasn't too surprised, when he saw Peter Parker raise a hand to greet him, he could not suppress the urge to roll his eyes. At that gesture, the smile on the face of the young man in front of him went out, as did his hopes of establishing a minimum of confidence with him.

"I don't know why, but I thought I'd find you here, Parker," he said, slipping his backpack off his shoulders and placing it on a desk, while his father checked papers with some interest mixed with confusion.

"I'm so sorry. In my defense I can assure you that it was not my idea and that- "

"I know, it's okay," he said shortly, when he realized that Parker always took the blame for everything. Even the ones he didn't have. Like being there, unexpectedly, and knowing perfectly well that Tony didn't like his presence. After all, he hadn't done much to keep it from him. A twinge in his stomach made him feel slightly defective.

"Have you seen the suit Peter is wearing?" his father asked him, suddenly, handing him a photograph taken by a security camera not far from Midtown. It was Spider-Man, hanging from a dangling spider web, ridiculous as few things Tony had ever seen in his life. And it had nothing to do with not taking it. That costume was bad. Point.

"Pajamas picked up from the garbage cans?" he asked rhetorically, then turned to his _colleague_ , and added, "No offense, Parker."

"Imagine, I… I'm aware of it," Spider-Man chuckled and took a step toward them. Shoulders closed in that unmotivated fear of being too many, even talking about his stuff. Tony gave him one last look, before returning to look at the photo and finally his father.

“You're not really asking me… or is it? Is that so? "

Howard Stark put his brown eyes on him; his lips tightened and his jaw set. A response tucked into the protruding veins on his forehead, which he finally had to reveal.

"You can't walk around like this, Tony," he finally replied laconically.

"Jokes? Do you know what it means to design a suit from scratch, since we don't have a shred of element to hold on to? We have to come up with it, draw a model, create prototypes, test it until it is a perfect practitioner, "he complained, pointing to an indefinite point in the room with a theatrical gesture. Peter Parker took a silent step back. "It will take months before we come up with a project that has a minimum of feedback."

“We are in no rush to create and perfect a suit for Parker. We will take the time it takes. He needs it, because he is part of the team now. You will agree with me that with that improvised costume he cannot operate! "

Tony gave a moaning and noisy croaking sigh, before closing his eyes and trying everything not to freak out. That would have taken so much time from him that the very thought already put him in a bad mood. He turned to Parker in exasperation as he coughed slightly, obviously trying to get his attention.

«II… I have a project that I have been trying to carry out for a long time, on my suit. I don't have enough money to buy the ideal equipment to make it possible, so finally I just decided to put it aside but ... well, if you want I can show it to you and maybe you can tell me if it can help you or maybe if it is to be completely trashed or if there is something that can be saved. In that case we would have something to work on, "smiled Peter, and Tony gave him only a very long skeptical look, before stealing from his hands a piece of notebook on which there was a draft of a red and blue jumpsuit and some notes taken pen, with a lot of white-out erasures. "I let myself go a bit with my imagination and ... if you think I'm stupid, I'll understand, you absolutely mustn't worry-"

"No," interrupted Tony, without stopping his eyes rolling over that drawing. His brain was already in motion, "okay, that's something."

Peter Parker sat up on his back, and when he looked up at him, Tony saw him smile enthusiastically at it. There was no arrogance in that gesture, just the happiness of having done something useful. A behavior that displaced him.

“Helping to make it happen means helping us too, consequently. Now it's up to you, Tony. What do you want to do?"

His father's questions - the ones who cunningly tried to shape the answers according to his own needs - rarely sent him into trouble, and Tony was particularly proud of that. On that occasion, however, things were very different.

He was literally sandwiched between two people he couldn't stand, but with whom he was forced to share a living space and part of his time. To close it all, there was the boundless fascination of science and the unexpected one of that project that he still held between his fingers, drawn on a squared paper, probably during a very paltry lesson in civil law.

He ignored his father and turned to Parker. The boy from the Queen pursed his lips expectantly. The terror in the wide eyes, hoping to receive a positive response.

"All right, all right, look ... I will help you to realize this _thing_ , but on one condition."

Parker nodded. "Sure tell me." 

Tony was silent for a few seconds, trying to weigh the words, because in his head he had already elaborated a speech that was too extremist, which if exposed verbally, could have generated collective unhappiness, and it was not in that mood that he wanted to start that project. It was already hard to accept that he should have worked with Parker, let alone start off on the wrong foot.

"Don't get in my way, don't contradict me and don't take initiatives without first asking for my consent."

His father snorted. "Tony ..."

“No, let me finish, it's vital! You know how I work. You wanted me here, and you know - and you know, that I'm the only one who can make his suit," he interrupted, terse, pointing at Parker with a dramatic gesture." You follow my rules. "

Howard Stark clenched his jaw and raised his eyebrows, ready to give vent to a harsh grooming, which he broke in the bud when Spider-Man spoke.

"Agree! Message received. When do we start? "

Tony grinned and, giving him the paper, he began to roll up the sleeves of his sweater.

"Now, of course."

**To Be Continued...  
**


	4. Chapter IV. Let It Be

**Chapter IV. Let It Be**  


Parker must have taken Tony's words about maintaining a certain demeanor all too seriously, as he had been quiet and attentive since they'd been at work for a couple of hours now. He hadn't expected it, to be honest. He saw that talkative kid from Queens as a kind of loose cannon, ready to explode at any moment; and instead he was there now, with protective goggles on, watching him solder some electrical parts with molten lead, in a solemn and unexpected silence.

He still didn't exactly like him, but he had to admit that his condescending behavior didn't make him a lowly fluff, as it had given him a way to think. Rather, in the course of that time spent together, he understood that if on the one hand his character was extremely spirited, on the other he was so aware of it as to be able to contain it when necessary. Hyperactivity was a difficult beast to master, and Tony had to admit that Parker was, after all, trying really hard to get a little bit into his good graces, keeping his enthusiasm in a cage.

He somewhat admired that fact.

"Look, you can talk if you have something to say," he said, continuing to hold his hand between two components with the soldering pen and dropping a drop of molten lead to join them.

"Oh, no. I don't want to focus on you and, above all… I've never seen anyone use a welding machine with such precision as you do. It's cool!" Parker answered.

Tony snorted a half laugh. "Yes it is. If you're good, maybe I'll even let you use it, "he teased.

"I'll try!" the other chuckled, «By the way… if I'm not indiscreet: how long have you been part of this Avengers thing? From the way you are set it seems like a lifetime," he asked. As if suddenly that broken silence had given him permission to ask certain questions without regretting it. Tony also didn't particularly like to talk about his business - or rather, he loved to talk about his business only what suited him, but after all they would spend the next hours in that laboratory working together. Even if they didn't like it, they could also exchange a few words.

"Always. How long do you remember. My father took me with him when I was little and dumped me from one side of the building to the other. I spent more time here than at home. "

"Sounds cool! So is this how you learned to do all these things? Like welding or building mechanical parts from scratch. "

"Hand me that pliers with the narrow tip," he ordered, and Parker obeyed immediately, then bending back with him over the piece of overalls that was beginning to embellish itself with an orderly web made of lead and copper wires; ironically, that he had taken on just that _spider_ form. Tony smiled to himself as fragmented memories filled his head. “I was sneaking into the labs. I exhausted people until they took the time to teach me something. I've always been quick to learn, this has made things much easier. Indeed, "he topped. He handed him the welder moving sideways to make room for him, "after two hours of doing nothing and looking at me, let's see if you've learned anything, Parker", he challenged him and he raised his eyebrows, while his big brown eyes widened behind his glasses protective. It was funny. A lot of funny.

He pointed. "I? Look, I could set fire to the laboratory! "

«Come on, Spider-man! How the hell did you get into Midtown if you're the mess you say you are? " Tony snapped.

Peter shrugged and began to get nervous. "Well, certainly not by making a suit in the SHIELD lab," he admitted, biting his lip; the trembling voice that he tried to disguise with a little cough. “I took the admission test, and I went in. Here things are slightly different and your father ... I don't think he would take it well if you messed up! "

"My father?!" Tony repeated, laughing bitterly, then urged him to take the welder in his hand which the other looked at with a certain terror in the eyes. “My father doesn't exist. In this laboratory there is no one else but me. My castle, my rules ¹ ! And if I tell you to try, you try! " he ordered, and the other swallowed air and obeyed. He just seemed so inclined to complain, but maybe that wasn't the truth. In reality there was just so much insecurity in those gestures. Peter Parker was someone who solved a complex equation for you in a minute, without having to use a calculator or a sheet of paper. In mind. As if he was remembering the shopping list. Or so Steve had told Tony. He also told him that he was someone who went to interrogations with trembling legs, and then came out victorious with full marks, surprising himself every time, as if it were the first time. Instead it was always like that.

Maybe that was also the case when he became Spider-man. Insecurity and fear of failure were not necessarily a fault in that area. They made him, for sure, a conscious hero who, in the end, put all kinds of possibilities before acting. Statistically, this made victory on the field much more concrete. His way of doing something was reminiscent of the scientific method and this ... this was positive after all. He was beginning to think that Peter wasn't as bad as he had thought. He was certainly intelligent, and he had to acknowledge that. A not indifferent merit.

"So?" Parker asked, rousing him from his thoughts and Tony realized he had been staring at him for too long as he worked out those facts. He gave him one last look, then bent down to see what he had done. He smiled. He couldn't stop himself from doing it.

"Yes like this. Do you see that you too learn quickly, then? " he asked, rhetorically and the other turned slightly to look at him, with a smile that made his face - until recently nervous, much more relaxed. «Come on, continue. I organize myself with the rest. We're leaving soon. I wouldn't want your folks to think that SHIELD has kidnapped you, ”he muttered, picking up the drawing that he and Spider-Man had redone on the computer with a professional program. It was now indisputably more orderly and achievable.

“Oh, well… my aunt is one of those people who thinks of SHIELD as some kind of satanic sect that sells people on the black market. Since she is looking after me and is very apprehensive, I am trying to reassure her that she is not, so far with little success. Do you think that someday they will remove a kidney or something from me, and I won't even notice ", laughed Peter, never taking his eyes off his work and already too skilled in the practice he had observed only for a oretta, if not less.

"Aunt? Distant parents? " Tony asked, just to make conversation.

“No, it's… it's complicated. I don't have parents. They died when I was really, _really_ small, ”he explained, and that pointing out how small he was when it happened, surprised Tony. He hadn't said it with any sadness in his voice, and perhaps by pointing out that fact he simply wanted to show him right away that it didn't affect him that much. Maybe not anymore. Maybe to prevent him from reserving a cliché, just because he felt sorry for him, Tony thought. It was not like this. He was really blown away, and he didn't even know what to define.

"I'm sorry," he said anyway, because he wasn't good at those things but he knew he had to say something.

“It's been a long time. I barely remember them but… Aunt May is like a mother to me. So I didn't miss an important figure like that. I'm happy like this. "

_I am so happy._

Tony felt something cold split his heart in two. He clenched his jaw and continued to look at him. He squeezed that press slip between his fingers as if he could hold on to it and save himself from who knows what. He was really sorry, certain things struck him even though he never wanted to show it; and while Parker was still working as if he hadn't just told him he was orphaned of both parents, Tony unwarrantedly felt like his parents had died. His father was what he was. They didn't get along at all, they clashed all the time, but he had never stopped to think about the after ... when one day he would die and leave the reins of an empire built with so much effort in his hands. They had adopted him, that was true, but as much as Tony always felt at war with his family, he had to admit that he often forgot that he wasn't really their son.

He was luckier than he thought.

“Go home, Parker. I finish two things and go away too. My dad turned our day upside down with that phone call. Let's continue tomorrow, ”he told him, because that sudden realization wasn't making him feel at all good about himself.

“I can stay until you go. A couple more welds don't bother me. And then ... I almost became good! " Peter exclaimed, pausing for a moment to admire what had now become almost a work of art to be finished. Tony raised an eyebrow and then laughed. For the second time, he couldn't help himself.

Approached. "Yes, not bad, I have to admit," he nodded and the other gave him another bright smile, which meant too many thanks that Tony knew he didn't deserve at all, especially after all those jealousies that had frayed his mind and made him less. rational than it should have.

...

They left SHIELD after another hour. Outside the headquarters was a vanilla sky, merged with a darkness about to cover the day. Tony raised his wrist to see what the hell time it was, finding it was already six in the afternoon and the air had grown slightly damp and colder. He pulled himself into his blue bomber jacket and walked down the stairs with Parker. So smiling that he looked like a child who had just unwrapped his best birthday present.

"Are you going to the subway?" Tony asked.

“No, I'll take a bus. My house is a stone's throw away », Peter answered, then closed his fingers around the shoulder straps of his backpack and a moment of silence descended, which they spent looking at each other with a slight embarrassment given by lack of confidence. Tony felt compelled to break it, although it would be enough to say goodbye and rush to the car of Happy Hogan, his driver, who was waiting for him just under the steps to take him home. "Will you give me your number? I don't know when I will be free tomorrow. In case I can send you a message- "

"Yes sure! Immediately!" Peter exclaimed, and Tony couldn't help but notice that he had just cut him off, without any arrogance. With a speed that surprised him. Again. For the third time, a smile escaped him that he immediately hid behind an impassive look, when Parker looked at him waiting for him to dictate his number, cell phone in hand.

“Well,” Tony began, “ _Spider-Man_ . I'll sign you with that name. No one will ever believe that you are the real one. With that face, Peter… »The other chuckled as he kept pressing the keys on his phone to memorize his. He realized he had just called him by name… _stupid idiot._

“That's why my cover is credible! _"_ Quipped Parker, and lifted up his eyes on his, trying to suppress a smile that he could not hide. It was genuine for real. He was not like him, often forced to hide behind too many facades to look like what he really wasn't. Peter's attempts to conceal something always ended up accentuating it more. In just one afternoon he had understood so many things about that boy… he felt almost an _asshole_ for how he had behaved with him.

"So see you tomorrow," he said, when Happy honked his horn to get his attention, waving a hand out the window, impatient.

"Yes, see you tomorrow, as long as your driver doesn't kill you," Peter replied, ironically rolling his eyes, then turned and walked away, putting on the headphones plugged into his cell phone and then disappearing out the entrance gate. He came home with a weight in his heart and one in his brain. Yet, paradoxically, he felt lighter.

...

Tony immediately realized that things had drastically changed and what frightened him the most was not so much the fact that Peter wasn't like that on his back, but the not knowing how to behave with him, in front of people and other Avengers. But most of all, in front of Steve. After all, Parker attended the same class as his old friend, and inevitably Tony could not give up visiting him, because breaking that habit could arouse suspicion. _Do you suspect?_ But of what, then? He shook his head, and kicked a stone, decidedly in a bad mood as he walked down the dirt lane that divided his course from Rogers' building. A minimal distance, which seemed like an eternity, as he had slowed his pace and stopped several times, wondering if he shouldn't go back and pretend he was too busy. Reviewing Peter and the change in his behavior towards him would show the whole world that he was no longer angry with him and that he was fickle. Demonstrations of a too sudden change of mind, which did not suit him at all.

_Bloody shit pride._

Finally he gave up. He had to. He reached the class anyway, telling himself that he would find the solution once he was put under pressure. As always. He was convinced that the mind worked more logically that way. A kind of spirit of survival a little bit, he had to admit.

Steve greeted him by raising his hand, returning immediately to lower his eyes to his cell phone, certainly busy writing to his boyfriend who had left for Romania a few days ago. He took advantage of that fact to cast a fleeting glance at Peter, which was by no means fleeting. The hateful kid from Queens was there, all intent on laughing like a madman with that friend of his: the one with the fisherman's hat, ridiculous as few things. Then Spider-Man turned away, perhaps feeling his eyes on him. He stopped laughing, lowered his eyes for an interminable second and gave him a nod. A silly hand wave, which seemed to have erased all the almost pleasant time they had spent together not even twenty-four hours ago. Tony returned that gesture, confident that he had put on one of his best neutral expressions ever. Peter looked puzzled and gave him a questioning look, before returning to look at the friend who had called him and burst out laughing again, for who knows what damned stupid _shit_ !

"Tony?"

Steve was watching him. His frowned blond brows creased his skin in many small expression lines.

"Thing?"

"Did you come here for me or to stare at Parker in that creepy way?" his friend asked him, rhetorically, rocking absently in his chair, while he blocked the phone and put it in the pocket of his jeans split on his knees.

Tony snorted in amusement. “I wasn't staring at anyone. Least of all Parker! "

"If you say so ..." muttered the other, then fixed his eyes on him, judicious as always and Tony suppressed the urge to raise his own to heaven. “Look, I don't want to argue with you, but Bruce and I think you're a little obsessed with this Parker thing. You are unbearable, too. More than usual."

"Oh, from what pulpit the sermon ..." he snapped, trying to keep his composure because yes, he had to admit it ... Peter had become a kind of obsession. His archenemy, his nemesis, ready to steal his place as the youngest Avenger and _blah blah blah_ , but surprisingly he had become an almost pleasant company, thanks to the forced time spent together. It was mad to admit it, but it was the truth. "Rather, aside from talking behind my back, are you and Banner doing anything useful today?"

"Let's play. You want to come?"

"No. I don't want to, ”he snorted, and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed. Shoulders turned to Peter. He never felt his eyes on him. Not even once. "You make too much noise," he tried to mock, but he knew they were pretty good when they tried to play some songs. He earned a false sidelong glance. “This weekend, just in case,” he continued, and Steve looked at him curiously, “we could do something. Like going to a pub and having a beer . '

The friend raised an eyebrow. "You look like a person who really needs to talk, do you know that?"

Tony knew it. He knew it was an open book after all, when you knew it well. He knew his best friends were able to read between the lines, just like his father could do when it suited him but, the truth… the truth was, Tony didn't even know _what_ he needed to talk about. He felt overwhelmed by the whole situation. He had gone from hating to death a poor defenseless boy, to suddenly tolerating him by becoming a lot of complexes.

No, the truth was different. The truth was that Tony wished that Peter had approached him that day, so that he could leave the indecent and dirty task of deciding what their confidentiality relationship at school should be. With that half salute and a forced smile he had put his back against the wall. _Disappointed_ . Again, for the umpteenth time.

"I feel good. As always, ”he replied to Steve, who pretended it was indeed so. Tony knew it. And he appreciated. For that reason he was his friend, and so was Banner. They worried, but they always knew when to stop. And that, in fact, was the time to do it.

After school he avoided everyone and everything. Not that he boasted who knows how many acquaintances, since mostly people hated him for his character or snubbed him because he came from a wealthy family. Something he would never understand about people, but it was definitely a repellent to keep them away. He saw Parker too, out of the corner of his eye. He was still with that friend of his; the one with the ridiculous hat. They were still giggling, and despite the expectations he had secretly had about this whole situation, he couldn't get it over with him. Maybe he was ashamed. Maybe he didn't want to show others that he and Tony Stark were confident. In short, he would not have blamed him. Steve and Banner only God knew how they still could stand it and give a damn about people's judgments about their friendship.

He shook his head slightly, then walked towards the bus stop, until a scene too similar to the one of a few days before appeared again, with the difference that this time he turned immediately.

"Parker. Did you remember that we are building a suit together? " he said sardonically. He couldn't hold back that little inner demon who, _damn it_ , tried to come out of him every time he tried to be as subtle and subtle as possible.

Peter gave him a worried look. He bits his lip and took a few steps towards him. “I haven't forgotten. I just… I'm very sorry for how I behaved. You're giving me a big hand and at the very least I should have got up and say hello. "

“Yeah, like. You should have. Already."

"Only ... I didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable situation, so I preferred to keep my distance."

Tony raised an eyebrow. _Huh?_ _What uncomfortable situation?_ "I'm not following you, Parker."

“I don't want people to associate you with me; not in school. It ... it wouldn't be fair. "

Tony laughed without any enthusiasm, after having kept quiet and assimilated those still not entirely clear words, then pointed at him with his index finger. "Oh! I understand! Are you ashamed of being seen around with me, did I catch you? "

Parker didn't seem impressed by that accusation. Rather. It seemed anything but that. In his heart, perhaps he knew that Tony would misinterpret the true meaning of that phrase. "No ... no, I ... I," he began and, looking around, lowered his voice and continued: "I'm ashamed of _myself."_

«I still don't follow you. What the hell are you talking about? Are you ashamed of yourself? " Tony mumbled, and ran a hand through his hair, confused. That damn jelly was getting dry, but right now it was the least of his problems. Parker was talking and it just sounded like a bunch of colossal bullshit. A flood of problems founded on nothing, which seemed magnified by a non-existent self-confidence.

"You're ... super popular type at school, it's already a lot to me if they don't stick their heads in the toilet anymore and flush the toilet, m-"

Tony raised an eyebrow and a hand, to silence him for a second. "Did they do it?"

“Y-yes, a couple of times. Time ago. Not in this school, but… that's not the point! Stark, I ... I don't think you'd make a good impression on being seen next to me. Maybe let's just talk when we're at headquarters, okay? It's your reputation, after all, ”Parker continued, and the thing that made Tony shudder was that smile he gave him. Very sweet but immensely melancholy. Shrugging, as if he hadn't just told him to avoid him so as not to make a fool of himself. He felt helpless, _offended_ again , and all he could do was just look at him, not knowing what the hell to say. That Parker was a constant surprise, and Tony couldn't tell if he was positive or not. It confused him, left him speechless. Maybe he was the first person to do it. Absurd.

“I don't give a shit about people's judgment. And if the others are really capable of thinking such a thing, fuck it. Does this seem like a behavior to indulge? "

"No, absolutely not, but ..."

“Parker, listen. Get it over with, and leave people alone. If I had to listen to all the things they say behind me, I would have had a nervous breakdown for a while. And you ... well, you're Spider-Man! You bring out a bit of that temper that comes out when you become that thing that climbs walls, right? "

"Spider-Man and I are not exactly the same thing, but this is a somewhat complex concept that maybe one day I will explain to you, in the meantime I don't want to bore you further with my paturnias and mine was just an attempt to avoid unpleasant things. situations that with the passage of time could cause you some unpleasant circumstances and I do not want this to happen in any way, because you are already dedicating your time to me and I do not want- "

“God, Parker! But do you never spit? " Tony said, taking the skin between his eyebrows between thumb and forefinger, then he sighed and gave him a smile, when the other fell silent, mortified. An avalanche. Parker was a veritable blizzard of insecurity and emotion; unable to keep them in when he was too nervous to even try. “It's okay. Take it easy. Nobody will have anything to say and if it happens, _who cares_ ! "

"And for you....?" Peter began, then he bit his lower lip, taking a step towards him and Tony raised his eyebrows, reflexively. "If I say hello to you, if I approach you, if we had to chat here at school, even just by chance ... would that make you uncomfortable?"

Tony suppressed a laugh that finally betrayed him and, running a finger under his nose, tilted his head to the side. "No, absolutely."

Parker relaxed his shoulders at last. He had addressed him in the most disparate ways, yet Tony realized that this boy with enormous potential, a real genius, was insecure and awkward but extremely brave. He had been upset about his attempting to ignore it, but he hadn't come forward to tell him. Too much pride. Peter had taken that step for both of them. He had exposed the problem, had taken on his responsibilities and had revealed his doubts and uncertainties regarding their relationship of confidence. Whatever turn it was taking.

"Well!" Peter exclaimed, beaming. "Then see you later at the headquarters!"

"Yes, see you later," Tony said, and watched him walk away with a weight in his heart and one in his stomach. Startled, once again, by what he thought was the most irritating person on earth, but apparently not the worst. Peter Parker was better than many other people, perhaps most of those Tony knew and, he had to admit to himself, his famous first impressions were no longer as infallible as they once were. The wind was changing and how much he hated having to change with him ...

  
  
**To be continued...**


	5. Chapter V. Twist and Shout

**Chapter V. Twist and Shout**  


Tony Stark would never admit it, yet at times first impressions could be infinitely wrong. It was difficult to accept that change of mind, as much as it was difficult to sustain hostile and detached behavior, with someone who no longer conveyed the desire to behave as such. Peter Parker was pleasant company, he could no longer hide it, and although it was damn hard to get used to the idea that they could get along well at first, after nearly a month of work Tony had put aside the idea of pretending to be the anti-hero of the situation. , accepting the fact that yes, they had become friends and that, after all, he could live that thing with serenity, because no one would ever scold him for that fact. It was true that Steve and Bruce had teased him several times, especially on those occasions where Tony had snubbed and ignored them to spend time with Parker even outside of SHIELD rather than with them, but they really didn't have it with him. He knew.

“That stupid project! It takes away a lot of time that I could devote to something else! Obviously, once the work is finished, let's try to relax as we can, having a drink together, ”he had justified himself, a few days earlier, when his absence was becoming, according to Banner, _suspicious_. Suspicious, then? And even had it been that he and Peter had formed a friendship? Sure, he didn't like to admit that from not wanting to have anything to do with it, he had gone almost to being unable to do without his company, but that certainly didn't mean he was _cheating on_ them., to him and Steve. In addition, Bruce had also started an internship in the SHIELD research laboratory - Tony had not yet understood in what area, and frankly he didn't even care - and he had often spent time with him too, although he much preferred to spend those moments at headquarters, alone with Peter and no one else. There was something about Parker's company that paradoxically always put him at ease.

“We've been up for three weeks now. Is it possible that we can't finish this damn thing? You can't keep walking around in your pajamas! " He pointed to it with a theatrical gesture, snorting.

"It's not my fault! You wanted to increase the dose with gadgets and other things like ... like that thing that dries the suit or the AI with voice recognition! Are you sure they're really essential, Tony? " Peter asked, when he showed him a small device - a kind of miniature electrical box - to be placed somewhere in the web of chips and copper that the inside of the suit neatly featured in its fabric.

Tony snorted. “Well, the dryer is vital. Suppose you fall into the sea, or is it raining? Do you want to risk, like, death from hypothermia? And the AI is a good way to manage everything by voice, avoiding inserting stupid useless keys that would only clutter. If things are done, they must be done well! " he scolded him, with that polemical tone that by now Peter seemed to have learned to know and no longer fear, perhaps for that reason he reserved an amused smile.

He raised his hands in surrender. “You're the engineer, Tony. And it's you who were complaining about the time we're taking ... "

"Ah, well. Now it's my fault, isn't it? I can't stand you, Spider-Man, ”he snorted, and as usual, Peter dropped his eyes, and fell silent.

There was this thing, redundant. A kind of horrible habit that he had taken to repeat, without finding any way to stop - perhaps because he didn't even want to - that sentence. _I can't stand you,_ he told him over and over. And Peter, as always, kept quiet and pretended not to be upset when he was. Tony knew how capable he was of hurting people, but he always hoped that others could get used to his ways and finally let all those wickedness slip on him that his stupid mouth brought out without a minimum of decorum. All because he entrusted others with the arduous task of accepting him as he was, rather than making an effort to change a side of him that he personally hated to death. It always worked, everyone got used to it except Peter.

 _I'm sorry,_ he wanted to tell him with a hand over her heart, and instead all he could do was sigh and pick up the mapping of the suit again, pointing out where those damn things were going. And Peter, as always, went back to being the usual Peter who forgave him for the wickedness he directed at him.

 _Submissive, weak, cacasotto. H_ e had said so much about him, when the only adjective he should have given him was _kind._ And, again, _patient_. Like no one had ever been with him.

"What are you doing later?" he asked suddenly. He looked up at him. Peter did not return.

"Nothing. I'm going home, ”he replied laconically. A streak of detachment in his voice, which hit him full in the face.

“The others and I are going to have a drink in a pub near the school. Come with us."

It wasn't a question. It was not set up that way, that proposal but Tony knew it was the only way to be able to tell him that yes, he liked him to join them on that quiet evening that Banner had organized. It was Friday night, the next day there was a weekend break, they could have been late. Above all, his friends always asked him why, instead of beating them up, he didn't bring Parker with him.

" _Are you afraid we'll take him away, Tony_?" Bruce chuckled, and Tony dismissed him with a very mature middle finger.

"The others?" Peter asked, raising an eyebrow, but not his gaze, too busy with those welds with which he had become very good, although now avoiding his gaze seemed his only goal.

“Yeah, well… it's just Banner and Rogers actually. I don't know if Barnes will come with us, but we don't have any plans. A beer, a couple of snacks, a chat and then home. "

Peter finally looked at him. He bit his lip thoughtfully. Nervous. Uncomfortable. "I don't know ... do you think they'd like to have me around?"

Tony laughed without any enthusiasm. "Why shouldn't they? They are my friends! "

 _Exactly_ , Peter was surely thinking, and he didn't have to blame him, to be honest. Fortunately, however, his friends were not like him, quite the contrary. And this, of course, would have made the evening pleasant and carefree; almost certainly, the kind of release Spider-Man preferred. It didn't take long to figure it out.

"If you like, I'll gladly come." 

"It has to please you first of all, Parker!" muttered Tony, and was happy to see him laugh, definitely relieved of the weight of insecurity, which at times the arrogance he reserved for him was capable of nullifying. Perhaps due to the inability to admit replies and therefore stupid paranoia.

"All right, then! They are yours! "

...

Tony Stark didn't like delays, nor did he like latecomers. Tony Stark was also a laggard, but only when it suited him to be ... and not with everyone. That wasn't the case, and as much as he was trying to convince himself it wasn't, he owed Peter the long advance it took to get to the pub. In fact, he found him in front of the entrance door, waiting for him. The others were already inside, but it was evident that he did not want to be alone with them, since there was not so much confidence.

"You're always early," Tony said.

“Not to be late,” Peter smiled, “It's not a good habit, if that's what you think. It's called _anxiety_! " he concluded, earning a playful and light punch on the arm.

Tony opened the door and a _Barbara Ann_ cover greeted them at a discreet volume, along with the indistinct chatter between the tables. He gestured for Peter to follow him when he spotted Steve, Banner, and Barnes. Or, as Rogers used to call him, Bucky. A little boy a little on his own that Tony did not really like and with whom he often clashed for the most disparate bullshit, but in the end he was harmless. They sat down at the table as soon as they finished and Tony sighed, looking around for a waitress and calling her to order, but turning abruptly when he heard Banner address Parker in a tone he didn't like at all.

"Finally, that slack Tony allowed you to spend an evening with us!" We've been asking him to invite you for a long time! "

Steve laughed, and the instinct was immediately to glare at him, when Tony realized what turn that evening was already taking.

"Sometimes it seems he wants exclusive on you, Parker!"

"Or, maybe, I just wanted to avoid him having an evening with you, _fuckers_...?" Tony commented indignantly, "Not even a minute has passed, and I already regret joining you," he concluded.

"How easy we warm up," Banner retorted.

"Get it over with," he scolded him, and pointed a finger at him, hoping that only that gesture could serve as a recommendation. A veiled threat that, he knew, never worked with his friends. They knew him too well. He turned to look at Peter, who had not yet uttered half a word. And how could he? None of them had allowed him! He was bent over in his chair, with his blue sweater and his hands tucked between his tight thighs, uncomfortable. A smile of obvious circumstance as few things were, and lowered eyes, which expressed all his repentance for having said yes. Tony felt guilty. Deeply.

«Don't listen to them! Can't you see I'm a bunch of disadvantaged? Rogers has also found a boyfriend, with the same mental disorder ", he blurted out, indicating Barnes with a theatrical gesture and the latter replied with an indignant" Hey! " who got a laugh from her boyfriend. Peter looked up at hers, and Tony felt his heart break into a million little bits, when he saw in that look the desire to get out of there.

“Parker, we're a bunch of morons, but we're not always like that. I apologize for making you a part of one of our existential crises. I promise we'll try to look normal, at least for a little while, ”said Steve, who of all - Tony excluded - was the one Peter had the least bit of confidence with.

“II… no problem, really! Only it takes me a while to get used to it and I apologize if I'm making the figure of the beautiful figurine. I just need a few minutes to get going. "

«Imagine! We are annoying and we are aware of it! Rather, how is the internship at SHIELD going? I'm just getting started and it's not bad, but if you have Stark alongside you, I can only imagine what kind of nightmare you are experiencing, Parker, "Banner said, giving Tony an amused look, which the latter welcomed without replying as he would have. instead done normally; only because, in those words, he saw a nice way to integrate Peter into their talk. He was grateful.

Spider-Man hesitated a few moments before answering, then his circumstantial smile took on a more sincere note. “Tony is a good mentor. He beats me, often and willingly, but he's teaching me a lot of things. So yeah, it's going to be good by and large. At least for me ... well, I don't know if it's the same for him! " he exclaimed, stirring and turning to Tony, adding, "Is it the same for you?"

“Of course not, Parker! Come on, you risked setting fire to the lab twice last week! " he snorted, ironic when Peter drew back in shock and suddenly blushed. "What is this unmotivated desire to become an arsonist?"

«Well… weren't you the one who destroyed an entire server, burning the power cord? They heard your father's grooming in Mexico as well, ”Steve reminded him, and it was a triple blow to the heart when he gave him all the hatred he could get from his eyes and Peter laughed.

"You did it?"

"Were it just that!" If I had to list all the mess Tony has made over the years at SHIELD, this one night would not be enough, "Banner added, and Steve invited him to toast with his mug, perhaps for the _beautiful_ joke just made, but Tony hadn't really paid attention to it. Peter had gone from wanting to leave, to totally dismissing that idea. He watched him laugh at that joke as the waitress stopped by to ask them for their additional orders, and ordered a fruity red beer. He took the same, only because he didn't have enough head to even think about what he wanted to drink. He was surprisingly relieved, yet the mental confusion of that day was shaking him. Those mixed feelings were worse than anything else. It seemed to him that many small pebbles were swirling around in his colon. He had never experienced anything like it in his life.

“Well, to understand: Parker is in class with Steve, Stark with Banner. How the hell did you all end up at SHIELD? " Bucky asked suddenly, before taking a long drink of his dark ale.

“Thanks to the one and only protagonist of our central nervous system: the brain. An organ that not everyone has, apparently ... », Tony answered, instead of the others, throwing that dig at him and turning his gaze elsewhere when Steve gave him a dirty look which, silently, meant:« I'll kill you ».

"Entrance exams, psychological tests ... stuff I've tried to do totally random, honestly," Peter explained, his usual modesty trying to belittle, for some reason, the excellent results he always managed to get, "I've been very lucky to pass the selection ».

"I doubt getting into a place like that is all about luck," Barnes continued, and for the first time in his life, Tony had to agree with him.

"Certainly not, but it helps in part." 

“Peter is modest. He's actually a nerd. That's why we work well together, ”he muttered, then drank his beer, which tasted too fruitful and was too sweet. A flavor that, yes, suited someone like Peter. The latter gave him an embarrassed look, which he did not return and, when Banner changed the subject and they started talking about music, as a Pantera song had started, he was relieved not to have to justify at all that exit he had had.

"Steve and Barnes and I have a band," Bruce explained, as Peter raised an eyebrow when they started talking about covers to play, "Stark was a part of it too, then he ditched us."

Spider-Man gave an adorable disappointed sound, and looked at Tony: "How come? You play?"

«Nah, I sing ¹ . I strum the guitar, but I'm slightly less good than Steve. " He smiled in the direction of his friend, who jokingly rolled his eyes at that ironic challenge, "I quit because I don't have the time I once had," he lied.

"You quit because you don't feel like it," Rogers snapped, and it was Tony who rolled his eyes this time. He didn't like it, and it was partly true. He had lost a little that desire to have fun with that project with his friends, only because his father had told him that certain stupid things distracted him from his goal. The weight of those words, from day to day, had erased from him the lightheartedness with which he devoted himself to that amusement that required no pretense. His father was capable of ruining anything, even the most beautiful.

He sighed and drowned that sorrow in a long gulp of beer, hoping to change the subject soon.

...

"It is a pity. I would have liked to hear you sing. " Peter admitted this with all the sincerity his body was capable of showing. His non-existent fear of looking like a goddamn sentimental was admirable. Tony turned to look at him but said nothing. He just shrugged, carelessly. _So much, now ..._ that gesture meant.

It had been a good evening, despite the first difficulties Peter had encountered in integrating, but it had gone better than Tony had hoped for. He wasn't sure that the kid from Queens would repeat that experience in the future, but he knew that, a hope of seeing him sitting at the table with them again, could be there. For that reason, at the end of the evening he had proposed to accompany him to the bus stop - a gesture that had immediately sparked knowing looks between Steve and Banner. He just wanted to talk to him, to understand if he was really okay or if he had tried to make the evening pass pleasantly, hoping it could end soon and when he answered, he surprised him again. Again.

“Maybe I'm not made to be with too many people. Especially if they have known each other so well and for a long time. "

Tony gave him a skeptical look, and Peter stirred. “Don't get me wrong, I've been fine. I'll be happy to repeat the experience if it's okay with others but… I'm a disaster with human relationships. I'm clumsy, talkative and sometimes out of place. I'm so afraid of making people uncomfortable, I end up doing it, finally. "

“I'm sure the others have been fine. Come on, Peter ... they bear _me_! They have passed the toughest test. Imagine if they don't like you », he tried to reassure him and the other snorted amused, kicking a pebble with a melancholy way. Hands tucked into the pockets of slightly too long jeans, rolled over the shoes.

"I trust you. For that, despite I feel an immense fear of not pleasing them, I will come whenever you want. "

"Because after all, you're not that afraid."

"No, it's just that you convinced me. You ... always succeed. I don't know how you do it, but you do it, ” he replied, and surprised him. Tony had lost count of the times he had done it. The only human being in the world to do it with an almost disarming ease. He stopped by instinct and shortly after Peter imitated him, turning to look at him, as he had remained a few steps behind his.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked, tilting her head slightly.

"No," Tony admitted, with a denial, "you said something no one ever told me." He joined him again, and felt her heart flare up. It hurt him terribly.

Peter raised an eyebrow. He seemed, now, the displaced one. "And are you okay?"

"As long as they're compliments ..." he replied and nudged him, with a sly smile to accentuate that irony. Peter reciprocated with the same gesture, then sighed and looked up at the cloudless sky, but full of bright stars. A rare sight in the polluted New York sky.

Tony was lost behind his sweet smile, reserved for who knows what, while admiring the mantle of constellations that was the roof of an almost completely dormant city. Peter was this: a set of fascinating and unexpected behaviors, which made him the most genuine and, paradoxically, the most enigmatic being on earth. The upturned nose uncovered his long, milky neck, which Tony ran with his eyes until he reached the very particular features of his face, his expression lines given by that light smile that said too many things and hid others . The sparkling eyes, veiled with a melancholy that never won him over and that remained only a small and transparent film, obscured by that shining immense desire he had to live life. 

Peter looked at the stars and Tony looked at Peter; he could no longer hide it, although he could not accept it because too many things went away, but in his heart he knew that this little boy was not indifferent to him. Maybe it never had been. Not even in those moments, when he had almost hated him for that stupid record he had unknowingly stolen from him. He liked Peter, and not as much as he might like a friend ... and denying him would have been just a big lie. Yet, in the darkest corners of his mind, Tony wished things had turned out differently with him. He looked away, and bit his lip. There were so many things he could handle. Even, sometimes, his bad temper, but the feelings ...

"End of the line," Peter murmured, and woke him from a patchwork of thought he was trying in vain to tidy up. They had arrived at his night stop and Tony wondered how it was possible that time had tricked him like that.

"I'll keep you company while you wait for the bus," he said, nodding to be more convincing.

“No, go home, Tony. It's late."

“It's dangerous to be here alone! What if they kidnap you? " he tried to mock, only because he did not know how to justify that compelling desire to stay there.

Peter raised an eyebrow, then burst out laughing. “I know it doesn't look like it, but I can handle it alone! I'm Spider-Man, have you forgotten that? "

“Well… I tend to forget that sometimes. But okay… as you like, then, ”he replied. He looked away and ran a hand through his hair. "See you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow is Saturday," the other pointed out. When he turned to look at him I find him with his head sunk in his shoulders and a shy smile.

"And the suit? You really don't want to finish it, eh! " he jokingly retorted and Spider-Man feigned indignation, placing his hands on his hips and suppressing a smile behind a fake pout.

"Yes I do!"

"Then see you tomorrow," Tony repeated, and Peter smiled, raising a hand to greet him. A gesture as simple as it is lethal that, in the depths of his soul, burned so much that it took his breath away. It was for that reason that Tony turned and walked away, mumbling a goodnight wish on his lips.

Aware that from that day on, things would never be the same again, he realized that even the control he thought he had over his life had just gone with a couple of heartbeats. He never thought that taking real interest in someone could hurt so much.

And he, who had always slept at the expense of everything, that night could not sleep.

  
**To be continued...**


End file.
